Tonight, I lay in bed with Jesus' name on my tongue, for sometimes when I've nothing else to say, He tells me that sometimes it is just enough to acknowledge Him.
"Jesus... Jesus... Jesus... Jesus..." I now fade into a deep sleep.
My thoughts now unfold into my subconscious as I dream.
My mind drifts to a scene- I am lying down sleeping, weak and clammy. I awaken to this uneasy feeling. I am in a dark hallway. The darkness is unlike any darkness I have ever experienced. It is difficult to adjust my eyes, but with some effort I start to make out a wooden door to my right. I try to get up but I can't. My legs are bound, and I am stuck to the floor. All of a sudden, I hear a voice. I am startled at its immensity. I listen.
"My child, You are unclean. Repent and be free. Come to me and I will restore you."
Then I look to the door. I reach out, but the door seems to be getting further and further away. I am being pulled back. I cry out, "Help me father! Forgive me for I have sinned!" I hide my face in shame. Then I think of my dear mother. I pray, "Mother! pray for me, who have recourse to thee!" My heart is racing, I know I want to knock on the door but I am stuck. The hallway seems to squeeze me. I am desperate. Then my gaze turns to the left side. Hiding in the shadow of the hall, I see a figure. It is black, and it is hissing. Suddenly, I am filled with fear. I cry out once more. "My God have mercy on me!"
The next thing I know, I hear someone approach the figure, light exuding from him. His wings are spread and he is laid with armor. He takes out a sword and slashes the serpent. He comes to me and rips me from the rope. I am free. I stand up tall and the Angel whispers to me, "The Lord is with you, he has never abandoned you. You abandoned him." He disappears. I am left alone in the hallway. I throw myself on my knees and repent. "My God, forgive me! I love you!" I hear a voice,
"My child, arise with assurance that my mercy is within you. You are forgiven. I love you. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you."
I arise and head down the hallway with peace and happiness. Slowly but surely, I make it to the door. I knock. He has opened the door. I enter.
I wake up the next morning and recall my dream. I get out of bed and say my morning offering.
(This story is a metaphor I use to imagine the prayer: "...Knock and it shall be opened to you". In this case, I used someone who hasn't gone to confession in a long time. Anyone who is need of guidance; a door to be opened unto, you should consider going to confession first. The Lord will not open the door until you come back to Him with humility and a most ardent desire for amendment.)